Savage Portland

Oh piddle.

[For the original document crafted by the hand of Dinaer, see . Transcription of document follows here.]

Sure seemed like things were going well for a while. Had a great time with my new ring from Z, though I’ve only begin to scratch the surface of all the uses it could be put to. Oh yes, and that fang that was buried under all the other items had some worth to it after all, granting the tenacious grapple of a Tendriculos to anyone who knows how to unlock its secret. It also seemed to complement my ring’s purpose of purloining palatial pieces of prosperity by making the possessor more acutely aware when opportunities would present themselves. How do I know this? I learned that if one replaced a tooth from their mouth with the fang, it would endue these powers to the owner. And naturally I obliged, given how it befits my agenda. Being stuck on a ship with peasants did not give me much of a chance at practicing my new-found aptitude for pilfering, (not that I was previously inept, of course) but I did get a chance at wrestling a beast of twice my size.

We encountered a swimming reptile of some sort with a long neck and wide back on the second day. I was seized by crazy notion of wrestling this monster to the black depths with the aid of the power given by my fang, and it was just crazy enough to work. So by taking a flying leap from the ship onto it’s back I was able to gain a purchase and grapple it. A few hard squeezes and a few more arrows from my compatriots on the ship brought it down. Shu tried to replicate my tactics, but I suspect he didn’t know about my unnatural advantage, as he overestimated his own strength and was unable to keep hold of the monster (I must have made it look easy, heh). Luck, I love my fang.

My antics obviously caught the eye of Leamette, our local sorcerer turned divine-following-something-or-other who is of the rebellious sort and a kindred spirit with myself in the ways of walking the edge, doing the daring, and experiencing the new and exciting. But the commonality otherwise is fairly limited; Rather than deliberate on the mysteries of the universe and the gods, she would spend time talking of petty nothings (as she did for hours on end for the rest of the voyage up in the ‘nest). Also, she has little interest in wealth. She left a large inheritance behind for the adventuring life, not realizing that most of us live this way only so that we may gain access to a life of the manner that she left behind. Anyway, there is evidence that she still carries a bit of that wealth wherever she goes, but I wasn’t about to stoop to the immoral standards needed to access it (if you know what I mean), at least not then, and who knows what my chances will be now that I’m a dwarf.

Yes, a curse-ed dwarf. I make my living by the silence of my step and fleetness of foot; by the gracefulness of my movements and sharpness of mind. And now I’m a smegging dwarf. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

With the Blue Nixie sighted and dusk falling, we decided to let the crew have their rest while we scouted the wreck for anything interesting. The island was inhabited by anthropomorphic cat beings who spoke in a strange language that Shu also spoke. He garnered that there was something evil on the wrecked ship, and if we would rid them of it then they would aid us in the coming siege. Shu is quite the diplomat is he not?

We were rowing to the wreck when another of those long-necked reptiles attacked us. It quickly became apparent that it was only the little pet of the true menace that the cat-people despised. The whole party was badly stricken with weakness, and then the evilness showed itself as some fish-like druidic being from beneath the water. From that point on everything seemed to go awry. Fighting in the tiny vessel that was our skiff put us on a decidedly uneven ground, and the fish-thing could deal massively dangerous wounds by it’s combined attacks. With us trying to find some effective means of quelling it, Mathias had to work especially hard to keep us together, and thus the fish-thing’s pet knew that targeting Mathias would hinder us even more. Mathias fell, but our magically-sapped strength was returned. Too late, it seemed. We were badly worn, and even Gurren was hunched under his wounds. In a last-ditch attempt, I attempted to grapple it from an invisible position, but it was covered by free action and struck me down.

I came to, so we had prevailed after all (seconds after I fell, even) but I had already perished. I was thankfully resurrected, but unfortunately as a dwarf, which is how I’ve come to be in the state I am now. To start all over again, learning the length of my stride and reach of my arms; it’s such a burden with even the small change from being human to a similarly-sized half-orc. But to go from a half-orc to this is almost indescribable. This smegging tort is a malfeasance against nature and [writing here is rough, scratched out, and unreadable].

Bah, Short, loud, gruff, inarticulate in limb (though thankfully not in word), I’m going to have to work to regain my previous skills. And of course people judge my skill by what they see. I was happy to lend my shoulder, working to restore the Blue Nixie, but to have the expectation placed on me to enjoy work simply because I was now a dwarf was an oft-repeated knell ringing empty in my ears. “Here, lend your broad shoulders” or “dwarves are good at this, right?” was heard more than once while working on the ship. Dwarf, my foot!

And to compound matters, my precious fang was missing from the mouth of my previous body, but Shu and Gurren profess to know nothing about it’s whereabouts. It’s not as simple as it just disappearing, so it looks like I’ll have some investigating to do before I trace it down again, where ever it is.

It’s late, the candle burns low, and we are in for a hasty return to meet the pirate invasion if they have not yet already come. To the cot I go!




I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.